Tuesday, 28 September 2010

I Went To Specsavers And All I Got Was This Crappy Lens Holder

So, term is about to start and my third and final year at university will soon be in full swing. Well, hopefully anyway, at the moment I'm still making feeble attempts to work out the new online enrolment system which keeps taking me back to the same page. Whilst sending an e-mail to the "helpdesk", I had to stop myself from making a snotty remark about how, as well as the new system being shit, they have also failed to send me any reading lists and as a result I have no idea what books I'm meant to own for one of my modules and am going to turn up, as always, unprepared and ready to be looked upon in disdain by a haughty, middle class lecturer. On the plus side, I managed to find a reading list for my ScienceFiction module and am currently in the process of reading all the books on it so I can say something intelligent in the first seminar and then not have to speak again for the rest of the year. 
In a random burst of culinary enthusiasm this week, Megan and I have made a steak pie (except the pastry, which we bought, rolled and then threw at each other), and a chocolate cake. The pie, much to everyone's surprise, went exceptionally well and thus led to the excitement of making a cake which, perhaps unsurprisingly, did not go as well. It was less "chocolate cake" and more "chocolate surprise"... The main downfall was our attempt at making whipped cream, a feat a lot more complex than it initially sounds. It would probably have worked out better had we had some kind of whisk instead of 30 minutes incessant stirring with a fork. And maybe next time I'll buy ingredients that aren't 18p from Aldi... 
Buying more expensive ingredients might be an issue, however, seeing as the wonderful StudentLoansCompany have once again failed to impress and not sent me any indication of how much grant I'll be getting, or, if I'll even be getting one in the first place. My mum realised the other week that she had "miscalculated" and I actually would need a loan for this year, which, thanks to online enrolment, will most likely come around December time. My money is rapidly running out as Specsavers have recently decided to start mercilessly taking all my money. How can they justify charging £15 for a lens check? Especially when they guy conducting it thinks it acceptable to flip my eyelid inside out with a cotton bud. (For future reference - it's not). I stole the contact lens container he had leant me on my way out to make myself feel better. Thankfully, no one ran after me which would have been an ordeal in itself given that I am currently hobbling around at a very slow pace due to spraining my ankle on the first night of Fresher's. I woke up in the morning with an extremely swollen ankle and half a bag of defrosted peas in my bed. (It involved a pair of Megan's very high heels and some ridiculous dancing - a story we were trying to make sound less ridiculous when explaining to the doctor how it happened.) Incidentally, this wasn't the first time I have almost broken my ankle this week after slipping in the bathroom when I accidentally flooded it whilst dying my hair. In an attempt to avoid having a shower, I thought it would be clever to simply lean over the bath and rinse my hair with the shower head. A good plan, which turned bad when I put the shower head face down in the bath and watched in slow motion as it turned itself over and started spiralling out of control like some kind of savaged snake, drenching myself and the entirety of the bathroom in the process. Just an average week then, really. 

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