Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Curriculum Vitae; Name: Amy Rooke, Achievements to Date: Twelve Questionable Cornflake Cakes, One Smutty Essay and One Disintegrating Candle
Monday, 18 January 2010
At least try and have an average body clock - do not stay up until 7am until no reasonWell, it is now 5:11, so this is a clear fail. Stop eating crap - ice cream, coffee and ginger snaps do not constitute as a proper mealI have had all of these things in the past two hours, equalling another clear fail.
Monday, 11 January 2010
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Although, by the end of the Christmas holidays, I was sort of getting sick of the snow (shock horror, I am getting old, I know), but I think that was mainly due to Saturday night when the taxi couldn't make it up my road and I had to slip and slide all the way down while the driver sat at the bottom staring at me, waiting with baited breath to see whether I would go arse over tit and fly headlong into his car. Which I did. He then proceeded to explain to me the concept of an igloo and tell me all about the depth of the snow in the 70s, when he 'was a lad', and how I should be thankful that I didn't have it worse. Sitting there soaking wet and bright red in the face, I was finding it difficult to be thankful about anything other than the four litres of Strongbow I had in my bag ready and waiting for me to drink when I got to Taaryn's. Why I decided it would be a good idea to drink three out of the four litres, I will never know, but I do know that it came to a sticky end, mainly involving me falling into a tree and knocking it over in Taaryn's living room, scattering soil all over her cream carpet... Thankfully, Lyn came to the rescue and
helped cleaned it up by herself. Needless to say, Sally and I went home shortly after and I have a vague recollection of chatting away to her parents when we got back, probably making a complete tit out of myself, but what can you do?
I had my last shift at work on Saturday and got offered a full-time job if I decided I wanted to drop out of uni. I'm not entirely sure why, given that I had been found earlier on in the day lying on the floor of the walk-in fridge with my tongue hanging out, pretending to be dead... (For the record, playing dead isn't something I normally practice within the workplace, I was waiting to be discovered by the person who found it amusing to lock me in there in the first place. Unfortunately, the wrong person discovered my 'body' and had the shock of his poor young life). But anyway, I am back safe and sound in Chester now and will hopefully keep out of trouble for a while. I had a minor panic in the car after my dad had picked me up when I realised I had left my laptop at home and we had to go back immediately and collect it. It was only after we had turned around and were almost home again that I realised I had actually packed it in my backpack the night before... My father was less than pleased, to say the least. After that we picked up a hungover Megan and thankfully the journey ran without further hiccups, even though I still have a horrid feeling I have left something important behind. I definitely do not feel like I have had a sufficient break from lectures, and the two I've had so far this week have been less than enthralling. Most of yesterday's lecture was spent listening to my lecturer ponder over why he kept getting Viagra e-mails and messages from 'lonely girls'. He came to the conclusion that they were lonely because they were sending porn to people they didn't know, so decided to e-mail back in an attempt to stop them. Unfortunately, the e-mail address did not accept incoming mail and, looking slightly put out, he decided to give up. This morning's seminar was not much better, mainly due to the fact that it made me realise how little I understood about poetry when I was asked what happened when the sailors ate the man in Don Juan... At no point in the poem did I recognise any signs of cannibalism, nor from the faces of my classmates did anyone else. Either my teacher is crazy, or we are all reading the wrong thing. Both of these seem highly likely, especially the former seeing as she spent a good half an hour ranting about how she doesn't think the queen can even read and how overrated childbirth actually is: 'I mean, if pigs can do it, it can't be that special can it?'... I guess not.
Edit: It has started snowing like mad in Chester, and we have since built an amazing snowman named Jeremy. This is him:
Friday, 1 January 2010
Definitely going to start on my resolutions tomorrow, first and foremost I am actually going to do some work given that I’ve had very little time recently due to family parties/working horrid hours/being lazy etc, mainly just watching BID TV and discussing with Sally all the useless shit we could buy. I used to think infomercials were a complete waste of time, but after watching 27 minutes worth of advertising for the ‘EZ Bed’ my mind was changed. I felt a bit weary at the beginning when the ‘leading lady’ exclaimed with such horror about how sleeping bags are ‘the WORST’ and there is nothing more embarrassing than making your guest sleep on the floor (which I found odd, as I have made guests sleep on the floor before, and flying into a magazine rack in a trolley in Tesco definitely still trumps it on the embarrassment scale), but by the end I can’t say I wasn’t drawn in. Apparently it is like sleeping on a cloud, and after watching it inflate and deflate itself in LESS THAN THIRTY SECONDS, I was most definitely on the verge of ordering one and was just about to pick up the phone when a new advert started for an EcoSteamMaster and I was sucked in by that one also. Decided it was time to stop when I felt an overpowering urge to buy a WonderMop and went to bed in an attempt to sleep off Tuesday night’s hangover after one of Auntie Sue’s infamous house parties. I spent most of Wednesday morning throwing up and hanging my head out of the car window on the M62, hoping against hope that I wouldn’t throw up in the Pringles tube so thoughtfully provided by my sister. Finally felt well enough to go into work at 4 o’clock, by which time I didn’t really see much point seeing as we closed at 6, but as is life, I struggled through. Most definitely didn’t feel up to drinking again tonight and am extremely glad I stayed in with Bridget Jones and a host of snack food to keep me company. Roll on 2010!