Friday, 31 July 2009

I Hope You Know You're My Favourite Thing About The West Coast

The past ten minutes have probably been some of the most amusing of my short nineteen years of life. I was in the house by myself when the telephone rang, so I answered it to be greeted by some annoying woman asking me to take part in a survey. As I have little to no life at the moment, I decided partake and amuse us both for a while. She spent a few moments figuring out how to pronounce my name - it has three letters, it's not that difficult, but she still managed to get it wrong, and then she went through what she was doing (I still don't really know). She then started listing charities, asking me if I was interested in donating to any. After making it clear that I did not want to support the SeeingEyeDog charity, sponsor an abandoned puppy, donate to the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, adopt a third-world child, or give money to any other charities on her list of about twenty, she yelled 'what the fuck?!' down the phone and hung up. I don't think they'll be calling back anytime soon.

I went to see Jayne on Monday and I was pretty impressed that I managed to get all the way from Bradford to New Brighton and back by myself! And, I made some friends along the way. The first was a man on the Bradford bus; he was foreign and pointed to the empty seat next to me with a quizzical look on his face. I assumed he meant could he sit there, so I said, 'there's no one sitting there', only to be met with a dirty look as he left to sit somewhere else and continued to spend the entire journey turning around and staring at the seat next to me. Then on the way home, I was waiting in the queue, and when the bus drive came a few people went infront of me. A lovely American lady behind me started kicking off, shouting about how we (me and her) have been stood there "like idiots" for ten minutes. She then turned to me and starting ranting about who they thought they were and why did they think we were stood here in the first place? Her frequent use of the word 'we' led everyone else to think I was with her and shun us both. All the excitement made me tired and I fell asleep on the bus, waking up just as it was pulling out of Bradford Interchange... I had to leap up all blurry eyed and ask the bus driver if he would let me off. Thankfully, he did. It was lots of fun seeing Jayne and Sam though, we went to the beach and took some really cool photos and then got absolutely drenched on the way home. I wish I lived near the sea.

Anyway, I still have very little to report as I have not left my house unless to go to work in about two weeks. Our newest member of staff has been keeping me entertained though. She was asking me about my degree the other day and, when I told her I was studying Sociology, she got a little over excited and asked me if that was 'the one where you read people's minds'? I explained that no, that was Pyschology, and I don't think they are actually taught how to successfully read someone's mind. This didn't seem the phase her as she continued to tell me that 'Andrew's daughter', whoever Andrew may be, studied Psychology and was, in fact, learning how to read people's minds. Today hasn't been too bad though, I managed to stay off the counters and play in the big fridge, doing very little work, from 2:00 until 4:30, so that made the day a little more bearable. On my way back, I passed Rachel muttering to herself and leafing through some invoices. She explained to me that she was 'looking important for the cameras'. I really don't know what we are paid for.

To add to all this excitement, my PunkGoesAcoustic CD arrived today, and my polaroid camera, which is amazing! It already had a film in it, which was an added bonus, so I've been snapping away and pinning the photos on my wall because, well, I am just that cool.

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

An Uninteresting Report

I feel as though lately I have nothing to update on other than work... which is very sad to say it is the summer holidays. However, it has been pretty hilarious this week. I was on the counter (not literally on it, just behind it) and this woman came over and was like, 'oh HI!' Not wanting to be rude, I said hello back, and then she continued rabbiting on a little bit, then concluded with, 'it's Kim's daughter, isn't it?' I didn't want to make things awkward, but it had to be said: I was not, in fact, Kim's daughter. How embarrassing for her, I know. She went red and just kind of, siddled away. I then spent the majority of the day annoying Colleen by listing all the things I would do if I won £96million on the lottery. Here's what I came up with:


  • Drop out of uni (who needs a degree when you're rich?), but continue to live in Chester with my friends until they had finished.

  • Buy houses and things for people I like, and make sure all my friends were out of debt

  • Buy a small island

  • Build (or rather, pay professionals to build) my own Jimmy G's style adventure playground for adults

  • Go to a LOT of gigs

  • Find some way of meeting Amy Lee and JK Rowling (I'm not sure how this would be easier achieved if I was rich, but it seems more likely)

  • Travel the entire world

  • Buy a car in America, and drive across the entire country, visiting every single state

  • Buy the Great Barrier Reef (I'm aware is probably isn't for sale, but you know)

There were more, I just can't remember them now. Anyway, that is how I spend my time at work =)


I went to see Harry Potter again last night and it was even better the second time round. It was absolutely packed when we got there, so Paul went and plonked himself down on those two seats alone right at the front so we pretty much had to crank our necks back at right angles to watch it. I shouted at him. But it was hilarious, I missed him =D then we came back to mine and he stopped over (my mum had to pick us up from the bus stop because we would have to have walked through the cemetery and it was pitch black and Paul got scared). She was in her dressing gown and was less than impressed.


So that's about it for now! Today has been my first day off in a week so I'm spending it bidding for things on eBay and lazing around watching True Blood =)

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Over Worked and Under Paid

How can I work at the same place for three years and only now realise there is a much shorter way of getting home?! I walk past it every single time as well. I never cease to amaze myself. It is almost as bad as the time I took the car to work and only remembered when my shift was over and I had already walked halfway home... I had to turn back and collect it. It was, quite frankly, very embarrassing.
Also, may not actually still have job. My boss text me asking me to check if the big walk in fridge was closed. I replied saying I went in and there were three looters in balaclavas taking everything... He hasn't text back, which does not bode well.

I went to see Harry Potter on Thursday with Simon and it was ace, even though they left out the majority of the book and most of the good bits. But Ron looked beautiful :) We ended up having to sit in the cool seats at the top because I was late and the only two seats left weren't together. I thought it was an added bonus, but Simon was all flustered because we weren't on time. We didn't miss any of the film though, or I would have cried.

Nothing much else is going on, I have been working all week, and will probably be working most of next week, and every day for the rest of my life ever ever ever. And just to add salt to the wound, my mother has given away my Famous Five books which I am NOT happy about. At all. On the plus side, I found some cans of Strongbow that I forgot I had so me and Sally can drink them, and I am going to see Jayne soon and play on the beach, so all in all, it is good :)


Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Yes, I Love A Cinderella Story, No, I Do Not Want 1,000,000 Hours At Work, and Yes, I Am Happy

On the work side of things, it would appear my boss seems to think I have some kind of gambling problem and as a result has put me on the rota for every hour under the sun. I could use the money though, and the entertainment's good; an old man came over the other day and explained that his wife had wandered off with his walking stick - he informed us that he couldn't go too far without it and needed to find his wife, yet he couldn't remember what she was wearing, or what colour hair she had. He was, however, pretty confident that her name was Jean and insisted that I shouted it through the shop at the top of my lungs, alas to no avail (Jean had snuck off to the greenhouse to buy a plant, the cow).

Thursday, 9 July 2009

WeightWatchers Ready Meals For One - The Story Of My Life, by Amy Rooke

So, I have just unloaded the shopping and, no joke, it contained only the following:
  • Two corn on the cobs (cobs of corn, corn-i, whatever the plural is)
  • One "tree" of brocolli
  • Two cucumbers
  • A leek
  • A bunch of bananas
  • Two boxes of strawberries
  • Three potatoes

Now, I know my mum's all buzzing off this whole "you're on a diet" thing, but come on, with no alcohol my body has already had the shock of it's poor life, and now this? Ace.

However, it is not all bad, because there are enough ingredients to make smoothies and watch Juno with Kezia, which is funnnn :)

My whole "leave the house every once in a while" plan is going quite well also - I went to Sally's on Tuesday and we lazed around and listened to hip music and ate potatoes :) And we watched the Michael Jackson memorial thing - we thought they were going to lift the coffin lid but they didn't, much to Sally's disappointment because she is secretly a really morbid goth :) Today I went and played at Lauren's and spent most of the day watching Maury (note to self: never turn into a white-trash hillbilly and print out phony DNA test to try and convince random-rapman that he has fathered my child).

Monday, 6 July 2009

"You have successfully completed your assessments for 2008/9 and may commence to the next year of your programme"

Question: who is the greatest person ever?
Well, not me, but I'm up there at the moment because I PASSED MY EXAMS! How exciting? Very. I got a 2:2 overall, so did Megan, and JP got a 2:1, so everyone's pretty happy right now. Not sure what Alex or Kate got yet, but DavidSmith got a 2:1 so everything's looking gravy.

Shocked is not the word. I honestly thought I didn't have a chance in hell of passing this year, and especially not Sociology. Maybe I am superwoman and have been lying to myself about my identity all this time?...

Anyway. I just had a voicemail from Paul telling me to call him later because he had somethig to tell me... Watch this space.

Starting to think maybe inflating my spacehopper was not the most intelligent of ideas... Just tried it out in my bedroom and ended up flying face first onto the floor... I'm sure I looked well attractive, but it's just not what I had in mind. I will have to buck my ideas up if I want to win Kezia in a race... Hopefully the neighbours won't get annoyed with two (kind of) fully fledged adults leaping down the avenue on bright orange space hoppers; especially next door, who I think are already a little annoyed at me as I was calling their cat a tit and telling my cat to "get it" when I realised they were sat in their own garden looking at me...